Late December is a crap time to have a birthday. Being born at the end of the year is like being the last man standing at the ass-end of a m assive org y: everyone is already spent, satisfied and passed out in a corner somewhere. No one is really interested in getting off with you – and frankly – you feel a bit sheepish asking because you can tell they’re not in the mood.
Case in point: I started writing this at the end of last year, but I couldn’t be bothered finishing it until now, because “meh”. All of the following reasons apply to me too, and I somehow manage to be even less excited about my own birthday than the people around me. I’m totally cool with it though – I’ve had a long time to get used to it.
Here’s why it’s hard to care about late-December birthdays:
Everyone is broke
Let’s face it: Christmas is expensive. Everyone has just blown their financial load on a whole bunch of shit they don’t need and cash flow is tight. The last thing anyone wants to do in the last week of the year is to dig into already empty pockets for birthday presents, dinners or drinks. Plus, they still have New Years Eve to get through.
Everyone is exhausted
Christmas is a tiring time of year. There is a massive month long build-up of celebration and preparation to get through (and it’s the end of the year to boot), so everyone is totally spent. Christmas is no longer just a one-day event and it often spills over into Boxing Day and beyond. People are tired. So tired. As much as they’d love to get excited about your birthday…. they are just. so. very. tired.
No one is in the mood for another party
December is the Latin term for “fuckload of festive over-indulgence”. It’s four weeks of parties, social commitments, christmas events, shopping and splurging in an org y of rampant consumerism. Frankly, most people give less than zero fucks about your late December birthday – not because they’re assholes, but because it’s hard to muster enthusiasm for yet another celebration on an already crowded social calendar (as an introvert myself I am always on the verge of self-imploding at this time of year).
They forget about you
People simply forget your late-December birthday because that last week is a total blur. I mean hell, my partner of 15 years is the furthest thing from an asshole, but even he gets the date of my birthday wrong every year. This year he rushed out to the supermarket in a mad panic on Boxing Day because he thought my birthday was the next day, and all of the other shops were shut. It wasn’t. Two days later I eagerly unwrapped a random assortment of “presents” that all came from the grocery store.
They are away on holidays
Lots of people don’t give a shit about your late December birthday because they are busy sipping sexually-charged cocktails on the beach at Bali or slapping down the plastic in opulent mega malls at Dubai. People often leave for holidays after Christmas, so celebrating the day your head emerged from the nether regions of your mother’s torso is fairly low on their priority list of things to do, particularly if they are face down on a massage table in the Maldives.
They are already thinking about next year
People are very quick to write the entire year off as soon as the last Christmas presents have been unwrapped and crushing yuletide hangovers have faded into affectionate remorse. People start eulogising the year that was and willing the next one to begin: cue the predictable chorus of “OMG I AM SO FUCKING OVER THIS YEAR IT WAS SO AWFUL BRING ON TWO THOUSAND AND WHATEVER”
Hey, assholes, this year ain’t over yet. Some people still have shit to celebrate.
They are saving themselves for New Years Eve
People relish their much-needed downtime after Christmas, and spend that last week gearing themselves up for one last big celebration on NYE, as the calendar clicks over to the next year. Those of us born in that last week of December are a weary inconvenience: an annoying social speed bump on the way to New Years Eve. I can’t say I’m in the right headspace for yet another party either, so I really don’t blame them.
All of that aside I feel even more sorry for anyone born on January 1st: people don’t give a shit AND they’re hungover. That’s gotta suck.