The Consolation Prize You Win When Your Peers Mostly Hate You

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I am clearly one of the least popular bloggers of all-time, because this is only my second peer-nominated award in almost two years of blogging.

Not that it gives me a complex or anything (it does), but I have to admit that the masochist in me always takes a sneaky peek at other people’s Liebster posts, to see how much more popular they are than me. Total teenage-regression stuff.

With depressing regularity, it is often the case that people with less than two months of blogging under their belts have already collected a larger selection of awards than I have managed in two whole years.

“Oh wow, this is my 16th Liebster Award and I’ve only been blogging for 7 weeks. I’d like to thank Sanctimonious Mummy, The Crusty-Dreadlock Lifestyle Blog, Cooler-Than-You Fashionista, The McJudgey Wholefoods Guru and Try-Hard Satirical Blogger for nominating me this time around”.

I fail hard in the popularity stakes.

My mum wasn’t even reading my blog after two months.

My husband still doesn’t after two years.

A big thank you to Karin from Calm to Conniption for her sympathy vote: today I feel less like a Loser and more like a Liebster.

So, I have some questions to answer as part of my Liebster Award acceptance speech, because it’s not all back-stage gropes with George Clooney and cocktails with my new BFF Taylor Swift. It’s hard work being popular. People want to KNOW about you, and shit.

1. What do you love most about blogging?

It’s the perfect outlet for my out-of-control ego.

Just kidding. It’s the power-trip, of course.

2. How/why did you choose your blog’s name?

I agonised for a very long time trying to find a catchy blog name that hadn’t already been stolen out from under me.

Calm to Conniption. Mumabulous. The Bloggess. Fat Mum Slim.

All taken.

The name Hugzilla was actually an internet pseudonym I was using on Facebook at the time I started the blog. A year or so earlier I frantically changed my real name in a moment of irrational paranoia when I joined my first Facebook group, a bunch of 45 random women who were due to have their babies in the same month. I was obviously pregnant at the time, so I initially chose the rather poetic-sounding Melissa Pregzilla.

Once I gave birth the name Pregzilla lost all of its (already limited) comic cache, and I was desperate to change it to something else so I didn’t jinx myself into another pregnancy.

It became widely known within the group that one of my pet hates are those meaningless internet “hugzzz” that shallow people chronically throw about in lieu of actually expressing an opinion or being honest about shit.

You know…

Person A: Confesses deeply disturbing and dysfunctional thought process. Asks what they should do.

Person B: Aaaaw, hugzzzz, hun xx

Hugzilla: Fuck off with your generic hugs.

So, the name Melissa Hugzilla became the end result of an internet in-joke.

Months later I started a thread in that same group, asking for ideas about what I should call the blog. Someone suggested Hugzilla. I scoffed at them. Two days later, Hugzilla blog was born.

3. Cats or Dogs?

Cats look at you like they want to steal your soul. I find it unsettling.

4. If you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I’ve been pondering this for a while now, and every time I come back to it a little voice in my head keeps piping up with “hot chips”. My inner voice is clearly a seagull.

5. Who or what is your nemesis?

This is probably going to come as a surprise, but I don’t actually have one. I don’t have enemies. I’m sure I come across as a total asshole on this blog at times but I find it very hard to dislike people and I tend to get along with everyone. I seem to do a pretty good job at making enemies online though: mostly humourless people who take themselves and the trivial shit in their lives too seriously. There’s too many of those to count.

6. What would be the theme song to your life?

A mash-up of the angry riot grrrl punk of Bikini Kill with the smart-arse loser-slackerdom of Pavement and the middle-aged anomie and existential regret of The National.

7. Sweet or savoury or both?

It depends on a complicated matrix of factors like blood-alcohol level, the stages of my menstrual cycle, the behaviour of my children, my current glycemic index and how pissed off I am with the world in general.

8. What’s your favourite month of the year?

I’m a stay-at-home mum. It doesn’t matter what month it is. They’re all tedious.

9. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

The power to make my kids eat vegetables.

10. What dish do you make the best? What’s your speciality a la maison?

I refuse to answer any question that requires me to google what the question means.

*******

At this point that I am supposed to nominate more blogs but I struggle with that because it means leaving people out, and I don’t want to leave people out.

I know I was hamming it up earlier in this piece but I want to thank all of the wonderful bloggers who stop by here regularly; sharing your kind words and your overwhelming support for this space.

You know who you are. I hope to see LOTS of your faces at Problogger this year, because I am going to HUG the SHIT out of ALL y’all.

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51 thoughts on “The Consolation Prize You Win When Your Peers Mostly Hate You

  1. I found you through Mummy, Wife, Me blog.
    I subscribed to your blog because it is a few minutes of hilarity in a day of tedium (2 small children/stay at home mum/used to have a career).
    So thanks for keeping up with it, telling it how it is. It makes me snort my tea through my nose sometimes. Luckily the tea is lukewarm, or yesterdays.

  2. I fear I may be the try-hard satirical blogger you speak of. Oh well. Or maybe I’m not even that. Hey! See how I make it all about me? Hugzy… you probably hate me calling you that… this was funny on many different levels. My biggest laugh was picturing you as a seagull :)))

  3. I got nominated for that about 3 years ago and I still haven’t done it yet – I didn’t realise it was a ‘thing’. I hope your opening was just in jest – everyone loves your blog.

  4. Hehe love your take on this. Btw I KNOW I nominated you a couple of times back in the day. I just thought you were too cool for silly blogging awards 😉 Have fun at problogger. Im not sure Ill ever sprout my blogging wings again at this rate!

  5. Love your blog. Always know I’ll get a great laugh one the ‘darlings’ are asleep after another want-to-bang-my-head-against-a-wall kind of day! If only this award came with a trophy for your mantel!

  6. #8, ain’t that the truth. It’s even worse with Dave on rotating shifts and working different days every week because I can’t go ahhh, it’s Friday, at least Dad will be home to help, because it happens at random, different times and I’m pretty sure if it wasn’t for blogging I wouldn’t have a damn clue what day it is! Hoping to get to ProBlogger this year, if nothing more than to follow you around and get you anything you need. I’m such a fan-girl loser.

  7. I’m so with you on points 8 and 9. Reading your blog helps make the days less tedious. Although I have had to stop drinking wine when I read your posts – my laptop was no longer safe after I laugh-spat on it whilst reading one night.

  8. Oh Hugsy you make me laugh! I so didn’t nominate you as I know you would of been horrified at the thought and pulled the piss out if me big time!! Totally booking in hugs with you for Pro-blogger ok?!! Haha x

  9. My inner voice is a seagull too… or possibly Homer Simpson. “Mmmmm…..Bacon…..”

    …and my husband DOES read my posts, but then wants input and editing rights, so it’s much easier if they just stay the fuck out of it I think!!

    Having just received my 1st Liebster Award nomination after 3 months of blogging – thanks for the giggle 😉 x

  10. No in my book, you are the most popular blogger! Thank you for being you, getting whatever it is, that needs to be out there. And for the record, my hubby doesn’t read my blog either. Once I signed him up to a free video series I did lol. A few months later, one night he says “crazy to calm is a great name for the video series, did you come up with that?”. Ummmmm YES! AND NUMBER 7 – me too AND why limit yourself lol!! Brilliant. Love your style Hugzilla!

    • “Did you come up with that?”. Bahhahahahhahahhahah! Oh these men, they have no idea at the level of pure awesome they’ve married. They see us in the day-to-day as Clark Kent, and then we slip into blog-mode and go all Superman on their asses, and they have no clue. LOL.

  11. Thank you for helping me get to know you better with this post. I got a few of those Liebster Awards when I first started but because I was so new I didn’t know what to do with it all (or even what the F*ck they were). It just seemed overwhelming when I was still figuring out how to even make a blog post with pictures.
    I lost my shit when you said “My inner voice is clearly a seagull.” – Melissa, my child is trying to sleep in the next room. Please don’t make me laugh that hard again.
    Love the pregzilla name. May have to borrow it for something when I’m pregnant again, if that’s OKAY. I clearly lack the creativity to come up with my own pregnant name. I called my son Cletus the Fetus the whole time he was in the womb. It wore off as soon as he burst forth from his holy womb.

    • I’m not sure why you’re laughing. Seagulls are magnificent creatures. Elegant, graceful, annoying. You are most welcome to assume the Pregzilla mantle, as I will NEVER need it again. Take it with my blessings. Be the crazy preggo you were always meant to be.

  12. I saw your comment in Aussie Bloggers about carrier pigeon effectiveness vs FB. Had a laugh. Wanted more laughs. Came this way. Best Liebster post ever. Not Surprised. A little bit jealous. But not surprised. Love your work.

  13. So fricken awesome! I’m ego driven too so I thought I’d won a bloody Oscar when I was nominated. I could even picture myself up on the stage with my long list of thank-yous looking out over a vast auditorium to my one adoring fan (who was probably looking for just one more micro blog that met the requirements to nominate anyway!). And I came up with the best list of questions and nominated my 11 blogs… and no one answered them – gah! Clearly no-one needs their ego stroked the way I do…

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