Merry Pissmas: People That Hugzilla Blog Pissed Off in 2014

 

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I’m seeing lots of Christmas posts around the traps at the moment.

Craft ideas, recipes, gingerbread house blueprints, DIY tips and tricks. And lots of bloggers reflecting back on the year that was, with lists of their most meaningful moments from 2014, things they are grateful for or things they have learned.

If you hadn’t already noticed, I am a total failure as a mummy-blogger so I tend to do things a little bit differently around here.

My Christmas baking attempts – for example – always end up looking something like this, which the boys and I whipped up the other day.

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It comes as no surprise that the Hugzilla Christmas wrap-up will take on a decidedly different hue, as we step into those trusty teflon undies and take a cheery stroll down memory lane to reminisce about…

… the “People That Hugzilla Blog Pissed Off in 2014”.

But before we start, I need to clear something up.

Cards on the table here: I never deliberately set out to offend. Hugzilla blog isn’t about intentionally pissing people off or targeting individuals in a mean-spirited way (unless you are Mark Latham), and I certainly take no glee in the fact that people have become upset by some of the things that I write.

I like to think that most of the people who visit this blog understand that I have my tongue firmly placed in cheek, and get where I am coming from. But I’ve also seen the result of sending this material out into the world, and I am not naïve enough to believe that everyone will receive it in the spirit with which it is intended. In fact, the list I am about to present is living proof of that unfortunate truth.

I have learnt one thing this year.

No matter how banal the subject matter. No matter how inoffensive the topic.

There will ALWAYS be someone who takes offence.

And it gets me down. It gets me down that no matter what I write, I always seem to piss someone off. And sometimes it gets me down so much that I don’t even want to write this blog anymore, because it’s exhausting; dealing with the negativity and bracing myself for the next onslaught of crap from people who don’t get the joke and having to defend myself against people who take themselves and the trivial shit in their lives far too seriously.

It kind of sucks, because I sort of hoped we all be in on the joke together.

Now THAT was naive.

PEOPLE THAT HUGZILLA BLOG PISSED OFF IN 2014

  1. Thermomix lovers

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My silly little piece on Thermomix as a viral epidemic went viral, pissing off thousands of Thermo-nerds around the country and kick-starting an internet shitstorm that saw countless people viciously arguing with each other over a kitchen appliance.

I also managed to piss off the entire team at Thermomix Australia, who outplayed me with the genius PR strategy of responding to my outreach with the amiable promise of a loaner machine that never materialised, followed by a complete communication embargo. It was the perfect neutralisation strategy. Well played, Thermomix.

It certainly prevented this drunken tweet from ever happening:

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Read about it here: The Thermomix Virus: How to Protect Yourself

  1. Offspring (TV series) Fans

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If I thought that the teeming hordes of Thermo-nerds were scary fanatics, they had nothing on fans of the television series Offspring.

My clearly tongue-in-cheek “Idiot’s Guide” to the TV series was thrown to the bored and no doubt drunken masses of Mamamia one Saturday night, where I was promptly torn several new assholes, called every variation of the word “stupid” you could possibly imagine and threated with actual physical violence.

Read about it here: The Idiot’s Guide to Offspring: By Someone Who Has Never Watched It

  1. Misogynists 

Every time I post on the subject of feminism I manage to upset my fair share of misogynists, some of whom feel moved to comment negatively on my blog. I didn’t save any of their comments, suffice to say that they weren’t very nice.

Read about it here: Hugzilla Blog Top 10 Sexist Toys for Girls: 2014 Edition

  1. This guy

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My sexist toys guide also seemed to upset one particular gentleman, who dedicated a 17 minute You Tube rant to reading through and systematically “debunking” every point I made in my blog post, with a hilarious rebuttal that combines every cliché about gender you could possibly imagine, lots of pop-psychology nonsense and zero-comprehension of satire.

Highlights of this epic act of mansplaining are his repeated use of the exasperated phrase “LISTEN LADY!”, and when he repeatedly calls me a moron. Shit, I’ve been called that a LOT this year.

It also attracted some nice comments.

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  1. Dance Mums

I published a guest post over at Woogsworld that compared dance concerts (unfavourably) with dental surgery, which got a whole lot of sequinned undies in a twist. Turns out, people take dance concerts as seriously as Thermomixes and certain Australian soap operas, and I’m pretty sure that I’m banned from attending next year’s performance. I guess there’s always a silver lining.

Read about it here: Are Children’s Concerts More Painful than Dental Surgery?

This is probably the perfect time to thank all the supporters of this blog and send big squishy panda love to those of you who take the time to read and/or comment on the nonsense I come up with on a regular basis. I seem to have more haters than I do lovers, so I appreciate every single one of you. Every single nice comment, every single share, every single moment of Facebook banter; none of them go unnoticed.

If I did hugz I would hug you all, but you know… My bum bag gets in the way and things get awkward and shit.

Oh, what the hell… It’s Christmas and I’ve had three Coronas.

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98 thoughts on “Merry Pissmas: People That Hugzilla Blog Pissed Off in 2014

  1. I love you Hugzy! Your posts brighten my day!
    The thing with haters is that they’re just so much noisier than everyone else. It doesn’t mean there’s more of them though 🙂
    ps I recenty wrote a post having a go at a magazine that was giving pet owners a whole lot of rubbish advice and slagging off vets. The whole thing was completely tongue in cheek but whoa nelly – those guys and their friends DID NOT receive it in the spirit intended. At all. And their responses had me feeling physically ill for days.

    • I read that post of yours and I was going to comment about my dog who died from parvo but the comments thread was so full of crazy by then. It’s not a nice feeling at all. That’s for sure.

    • Thanks Pinky. So much love this year has come from you and I can’t tell you how much it is appreciated. And, for the record… Drinking a can of Carlton Mid as we speak because I am one classy lady.

  2. I love your blog!! Its one of my all time faves. As a thermo mix owner (for the past 3 years). Your Thermie blog had me in stitches and I still chuckle when I think if it. I adore your tongue in cheek humour and your courage to lighten this world up a bit. Keep doing what you do, it’s unique, authentic and fun! Merry Pissmass to you too and I look forward to being a loyal, lover of your blog in 2015.

  3. Gosh, people love to be drama llamas. Look, if it wasn’t you who they were offended by, they would be actively seeking something else to be pissed off about. Some people live their lives fuelled by anger and offence. Sad, really!
    I’ve never been offended by what you’ve written – even if I am a massive Offspring fan haha.

    • LOL. That is so true. I even saw a thread on FB with people moaning about Hamish Blake’s affectionate parody of the Humans of New York page. Lighten up, people!! And thank you for not throwing stones at me. Offspring RULES!!

  4. That last comment was brought to you by the redneck bigots I’ve been dealing with all day. I didn’t want you to end the year without being abused one last time.

    You’re welcome.

    Now go and take care of your children and stop stroking your ego writing this worthless blog! No, wait… That’s me…

    Jesus I LOVE people.

  5. The so called ‘Nonsense you come up with on a regular basis’ (to use your own words) makes my day. Love your tongue in cheek extremely well written posts and writing style! Looking forward to more in 2015

  6. 17 minutes of vitriol? That is pure gold. You’ve obviously made such an impact in that man’s life that he had to really think about you, think about your post, and take the time to make a freaking video. Lady, you are touching lives. You’re like the Mother Theresa of the blogging world. Giving so much to the people. Thanks for being you, and for pioneering such great teflon undies. May you touch many more lives next year and acquire a new string of moron comments. x

    • BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! I seem to be touching people in all the wrong places, but it’s a start I guess. Thank you for being awesome and getting the joke. We love your kind around here xx

  7. Have just discovered your blog (don’t know why I haven’t found it before) & I love it! You’ve got a fan here! don’t let the buggers get you down
    Merry Christmas
    xoElaine

  8. Hon do not let the whacks get you down or doubting ever. I love offspring but have a sense of humour. I don’t have a thermomix but if I dis I would be eating well AND laughing my ass off. People need to learn the difference between a piss take and an editorial. Xx merry Christmas.

    • “People need to learn the difference between a piss take and an editorial”. This should be my tagline. LOL. Hello. Sarcasm? Thanks so much for your support this year Deb, and I hope that 2015 is a wonderful year for you xx

  9. So you never got that free Thermo Hugzy? That was hands down best tweet of the year! I’m a HUGE Offspring fan but you still had me laughing!! I love that you take the piss – and if that pisses people off GOOD! It means you got their attention! Hope we get to catch up at a fancy blogger event in the new year with many a beer. Merry Christmas Hugzy ps. You are soooo a hugger! Don’t act all aloof now 🙂

    • LOL, nope. Never scored my freebie! I’ll keep trying. Heh heh heh… And yes, I know that we are divided by an entire continent but I hope that one day the blogging gods bring us together at one of these fancy events. We’d own that shit.

    • Bahahhahahhah! No. This is a mock-up, unfortunately. A fantasy tweet. I still held out the vain hope at the time that I might have a shot to scam myself a freebie. Propositioning someone at Thermomix Australia would have completely ruined my chances…

  10. Mansplaining! I don’t need to watch his 17 minute waste of good air, you’ve just wrapped up the diatribe with one word. (Plus he doesn’t deserve any further recognition for his stupid)
    I love your blog almost as much as your house – it feels like home.
    A merry pissmas to you & yours, here’s to {unintentionally} poking the haters with a stick in 2015.

  11. You have had a massive year – just think of all those people you have touched in some way with your words. Sure, they have not taken it the right way and are clearly nutjobs, but you have touched them, nonetheless! I wonder who your next target could be…? Have a great xmas – looking forward to reading more of your brilliance in 2015!

  12. Nice work. Reactions, good or bad, bring good traffic, so they say haha and seriously, how the hell does a thermomix even work? Am I the only person on the planet still with no clue. Still.. Free would would nice 😉

  13. I’ve just had an ‘ah ha’ moment! Tongue in cheek! Your posts make much more sense now! 😉
    Thanks for the laughs and the tears because I was laughing so much. You never cease to amaze me with your latest kitchen disasters.
    You know you’re ruining your tough guy act by giving hugs though, right?!

    P.S. This post would be a whole lot more perfect if you modelled your new bum bag.

  14. That’s just mean. How am I going to be able to sleep. The anticipation is just way too much! Although, I’m really looking forward to seeing you do something awesome with it!

  15. We’re out of Corona so I’m onto the white wine tonight….I saw a bumbag in a catalogue today and thought of you. That’s the effect you’ve had on me this year. I’m so happy to have stumbled upon your blog – so many laughs and I love a good pisstake. Don’t ever change and please don’t ever stop writing. For every person you’ve pissed off, there are a bundle of readers laughing their arses off. I can’t wait until the 2015 Sexist Toy Guide. I’m rooting for the doll that poops charms – surely a shoo-in? Can’t wait for more panda-monium next year (see what I did there?!). Merry Christmas 🙂

    • LOLOLOLOLOL!! Speaking of bum bags, I have another awesome post lined up there… Thank you SO much for supporting the blog this year, and for all your lovely comments. It really does soothe the burn from the other less than savoury reactions the blog receives. Enjoy the white and I hope you have an amazing Christmas. Here’s to an awesome 2015 xx

  16. Last week we made a perfectly lovely gingerbread house from scratch and the whole damn thing collapsed, so I feel your pain. We ended up decorating gingerbread squares instead.

    I’m also with you on Thermomix. They simply can’t do anything that I can’t already do. I simply don’t get all the evangelical fervour over a itchen appliance.

  17. It takes an exceptional amount of talent to piss off that amount of people. I bow to you. You have had me in awe all year. I look forward to your winning friends and influencing people in 2015!

  18. Someone actually made a you tube clip in response to something you wrote? He might be a hater, but man you win the internet! That’s pretty impressive influence you have there!
    I always understand your tongue in cheekiness and love you because of it.
    xx

    • Yeppers. This is what happens when you google yourself while you are sitting on the floor of your kids bedroom in the dark while you are waiting for them to go to sleep. NOTHING good ever comes of that…

  19. This post – and the ones associated with it and their responses – are all hilarious. Most bloggers, women especially, are frightened of becoming targets. It’s obvious you have a good sense of humour and you must also have a pretty thick skin.

  20. Surely there’s more? It can’t just be five… 😊 I enjoyed every single one of the above posts and didn’t feel even a hum of pissedoffedness. I either get the joke or I’m equally as controversial. Either way, can’t wait to see what you get up to next year! x

    • LOL thank you for getting the joke, Bron. Quite frankly, I’m lucky to have escaped as relatively unscathed as I have! Wishing you and your family a wonderful Christmas, and an amazing 2015 x

  21. You just have the knack (and courage!) to say what many of us are already thinking, and in a way that makes me laugh … as you said, there are a lot of folk out there who take themselves, and life in general, way too seriously. Merry Christmas Hugzilla!

    Visiting today from #teamIBOT xxx

    • Merry Christmas Janet! Thanks for the giggles this year, and I’m hoping that we’ll get to meet in person at Problogger next year. You’re on my “To Stalk” list. Hope you and your family have a wonderful new year x

  22. My girls did our gingerbread houses last night. They look awesome!! The trick is not relying on the lollies they give you in the pack, buy a bit extra and make up some extra icing…bet your still tastes nice though… Have a great Christmas!!

  23. So behind in reading this post. There are sad people in this world but shit it is funny to watch them get there knickers in a knot over what they can’t understand.

    I love my Thermomix and one day I shall make you a mojito followed by some awesome carbonara and a mojito, finished with some lemon custard for desert. And another mojito. Just because I can and because you will like it!

    Instead of Leave a Reply you should just put a target.

  24. You were my favourite blog of 2014. People must have missed the lesson on satire in English class. Or maybe the lessons on english in English class, as many of the trolls who comment seemed to have only learned the bad words? Thanks for making blogging so much fun!

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