In Defence of Kim Kardashian’s Arse

WARNING: Some graphic images are included. NSFW.

We all have our hobbies.

I like to blog, read tarot cards and binge-watch DVD dramas by HBO.

Kim Kardashian likes to periodically “break the internet” by leaking her own sex tapes, posting Instagram pictures of her backside and posing in full-frontal photo shoots by creepy Parisian photographers.

If by some remarkable stroke of fortune you forgot to pay your ADSL bill or otherwise failed to get sucked into the latest KK vortex of cyber-narcissism, here is the photo that has caused all the recent commotion:

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A day or two after the chattering masses of the internet had exhausted their immediate store of memes, Kanye West jokes and indignation, Kim Kardashian released some of the out-takes from the photo shoot. One of them was this picture of Kim in all her full-frontal nude glory.

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(I have included the censored version here because frankly, I don’t wish to inflict Kardashian minge on you all without prior warning)

I mean, we’ve seen her backside, her boobs and her vulva. We’ve seen her having sex. I have to admit, I’m curious to see how she can possibly top this.

What internet-breaking taboo can we expect to see next?

An anal probe examination of her rectum for an American Apparel spread?

A dildo-cam ultrasound of her cervix for a Tom Ford cologne campaign?

(Though I think that one has already been done…)

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Anyhoo, the internet exploded in a predictable firestorm of criticism and commentary. There was discussion about the objectification of women, there was talk about the racist undertones of the photo shoot, there was debate about the digital alteration of women’s bodies, there was lament about this Warholian nightmare we have created where people are famous simply because they are famous; devoid of talent but adept at courting notoriety.

And there I was, nodding sagely along with all of it.

Until I saw this.

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And I bristled. Oh how I bristled.

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As predictable as the patronising sermon from Mr Brady at the end of every Brady Bunch episode, it wasn’t long before the “Mummy Morality Police” came charging into the fray; led by Glee actress Neya Rivera, who does not herself have children.

It’s very important that non-mothers police the behaviour of actual mothers because we are so clueless that we need to have it “mumsplained” to us by people who’ve never had the life-altering experience of birthing and raising a child, because one of the inarguable laws of the universe is that non-parents know everything there is to know about parenting.

This is the comment that Neya Rivera posted on Kim Kardashian’s picture on Instagram.

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So #$%^ing what?

You’re someone’s mother and WHAT?

There are so many unspoken assumptions coded in that statement. So many value judgements. So much latent criticism.

GET THE MEMO, KIM. YOU’RE A MOTHER NOW.

You aren’t allowed to have your own life anymore.

You aren’t allowed to value your career.

You aren’t allowed to be a sexual being.

You aren’t allowed to make your own choices.

You aren’t allowed to have an identity that is separate to your child.

You aren’t allowed to be selfish anymore.

You have to be perfect and never make mistakes.

You have to be sensible all the time.

You have to be morally pure.

You have to tiptoe around other people’s sensitivities.

YOU HAVE TO THINK OF THE CHILDREN! ALL THE TIME!

You know what? To hell with all of that. To hell with all your mummy-moralising and this insistence that mothers are held to much higher standards than all other mere mortals.

There are a MILLION reasons why Kim Kardashian needs to stop flashing her sexual organs to the world. Being a mother isn’t one of them.

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99 thoughts on “In Defence of Kim Kardashian’s Arse

  1. I somehow did manage to escape most of the butt baring episode – for once I agree with the way Facebook arranged my feed. Kim’s little one is going to face some challenges in her life (very different challenges to the ones mine will face I daresay) but I don’t think this particular photo shoot is going to be one of them. Go for it Kim – keep doing what you do best – just preferrably not in my Facebook feed.

  2. Because images of KK changing a nappy or trying to grocery shop with spew lauded hair and a screaming baby TOTES wouldn’t send the world into a spin. Otherwise I would have totally done that. Being someone’s mother. Pfft.

  3. Once you are diagnosed to be suffering from the condition known as female, your body and being become public property. Once you reach the next stage in this disease- motherhood- your actions and looks are subject to a much higher level of scrutiny! I barely know who Kim is. Her arse looks great. Good for her. I don’t care if she is a mother. I’m so sick of women being defined this way- whenever someone derides a woman for her actions, dress or whatever its “But what if she was your mother/daughter/wife/sister?” How about “She is a person. She owns her own bum and can do with it whatever she pleases because she’s a human being.”/ steps off soap box 😉

    • You barely know who KK is? My already healthy respect for you just went up a giant notch! LOL. I have to confess, other than what I see online I have no idea either. I actually picked up a Keeping Up With the Kardashians DVD from Vinnies for $2 on a whim one day, so I could see what all the fuss was about. I haven’t watched it yet. It’s the one that has the special episode of her last marriage. I’ll need to stock up on tissues for that.

      • Haha! A friend once made me watch an episode of that once- I will never get back the 20 minutes I spent trying to take it in. Never. I do have a Kardashian handbag that I got as a present and it’s very nice. Black leather and studded and I assume it makes my bum look amazing (otherwise, what’s the point?)

  4. Amen, hugzilla. A-fucking-men. One of the things that makes me cringe about possible motherhood is that people expect you to just disappear. I think KK is a trash bag but being a mother has nothing to do with it and as soon as I saw that comment I was like, screw it, you go, Kim!! Also, big lols at the dildo cam HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  5. You know, Clive Standen is a father but if he wanted to leverage his male liberation by displaying oiled up photos of his naked body it would break my internet. Sadly it wont happen because men generally dont need to pose naked to get attention.

    • I had to google Clive Standen. I hope we can still be friends… On other topics, PHWOAR. Vikings. Stupid mountain. I can’t get satellite here. I had to pay out a 12 month Foxtel contract when we moved here, which makes me get stabby at the best of times. And then to miss out on all this historical crumpet.

  6. Oh how I agree with this. I don’t subscribe to it personally, I’ve never thought my identity was tied ruthlessly to my children, but then I’ve never flashed my bits in public (oh, except that one time, oh no never mind). But it is her body and if she wants to make money off it then that’s her business 100%. I think it’s pretty gross to be frank, but I would think that whether she was a mum or not. The mind boggles that people actually think being a parent invites a higher and more vitriolic critique of how that person spends their time or the speed at which they can lower their panties on the internet. Kx

  7. I totally get your point and agree with it about the mum perspective. But I don’t get why one has to pose nude to get attention… or is that a question answering itself? I guess I see this in a different light having worked with men who love their porn. We want equality as women, we want to be recognized but then women go and pose naked to what? What does it really achieve? Attention. But is it the attention we want? I don’t really care what Kim Kardashian does. She has a gorgeous body. Just wished she used that gorgeous brain to do good. I reckon she would get more attention if she did.

    • Totally, and I am ambivalent about the shoot for exactly that reason. I hate that it reinforces the notion of women as objects but I also found the puritanism about mothers interesting too. There are so many layers you could dissect. I think I could write a PhD on the whole Kardashian thing.

  8. “There are a MILLION reasons why Kim Kardashian needs to stop flashing her sexual organs to the world. Being a mother isn’t one of them.” That says it all, really. On the other hand, if whatsherface from Glee WAS a mother and said it…then what? I worry that kissing my son and telling him I love him at school is going to embarrass him, I sure as hell wouldn’t be posing naked for the world to see, because that SURELY would not only embarrass him, but my entire family! But do we really expect more from KK? I don’t. Anything to get attention. The bottom line (pun completely intended) is that is what her and her husband’s life is all about. Ultimately THAT is what is sad for baby North.

    • I think it’s an unfortunate fact of life that we all have to deal with the actions of our parents and their capacity to embarrass or mortify us. For someone like North West, hers are shared with the entire world, unfortunately. It’s not an enviable position to be in. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be the child of a celebrity.

    • Oh, and mothers definitely aren’t immune to playing “Mummy Morality Police”. Some of the best slap-downs I’ve seen have come from other mums! LOL. One of the best I’ve seen is “If you wanted to hire a babysitter so you can have a night out YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE HAD CHILDREN”. Seriously. No word of lie.

  9. I thought exactly the same thing when I read that mother comment!!! I was like, so fucking what?!?! What does being a mother possibly have to do with any of it? There is so much more wrong with it than her being a mother! I do however await with Glee(!) Rivera’s post-baby sexy photo-shoot and the inevitable “mother” comeback from KK.

    • OMG I just read that as “poop out of a gargbage bag”. I was thinking, “Honey, don’t get TOO carried away here”. I must have seen the word ass and my brain read “poop”. Time for a coffee. And please be sure to blog about your adventures with baby oil.

  10. Somehow I missed all of this. Poinker spends far too much time with her head up her bottom I think. KK’s butt looks like it would burst if you pricked it with a needle. Surely it’s fake? Maybe the Glee chick meant, “You’re someone’s mother, do you know how embarrassed that poor kid will be?” Probs not though because you’re dead right about the way as soon as a woman has a baby her identity changes in some people’s eyes and she’s open fodder for judgement. Personally I think KK and the whole lot of them are Lizard People. How else can they be so famous for nothing.
    Do you really read Tarot Cards. Can you ask them if Pinky will ever be famous and if so should I do bum shots?

  11. Oh shit really? So I can have a life even though I’m a mum, tell me how to get one!!!!!!!!! Seriously though I saw it, looked like she was made out of plasticine. Who gives a shit about fake stars in the buff, not me. The world is full of idiots who lap this shit up – OVER IT – thanks for linking x

  12. YES YES YES! That was what annoyed me most, too. So what? If she teaches North that it’s okay – desirable – to love your body, then that’s probably the best thing she’ll do for her! I dislike the shots, but she has the right to do them. Plus, hello, the sex tape and all the ‘sexy’ shots from pre-kids are still out there. North is going to see them at some stage. Why stop now?!

  13. I wrote a similar post last time Kim broke the internet because people were all ‘how dare she, she is a mother now’. Also…people call her dumb…yet her and her family have managed to rake in millions from people watching them just go about their day and have created clothing, handbag and perfume lines from it. Who’s the dummy now 😉

  14. You know, I’d managed not to see either photo until you made me Hugzilla! BTW I wanted to clap at the end. Yes there are so many reasons those photos should not actually exist but, by god yes, being a mother is definitely not one of them!

  15. Amen sista! So true! I did read there was some memo circulating to mums that when you became one, you must adorn yourself with a habit, and wear only clothing that consisted of floral pattern and reach your ankles and you can never EVER put yourself first. I think I missed that one. What I AM fascinated with is just how she has worked her bum to look like that, while retaining a rather thin body. How does one do that? Implants, I’m thinking. Thanks for a great read. x

  16. Completely agree. Being a mum is irrelevant – she can do whatever the hell she likes. I just find it so sad that acts like this gain a ridiculous amount of attention but there’s women out there doing amazing stuff actually helping the world and they don’t even get a look in. Doesn’t send the best message to the kiddies out there. My favourite tweet last week was a RT from How To Be A Dad – “It’s nice of KimKardashian to remind everyone how she became famous in the first place & educate girls on how they can achieve their dreams.” And as for those Tom Ford ads – WTF? Looks like they were directed by that Blurred Lines creep. That’s my rant over – thanks, that felt good. Great post as always Zilla!

  17. You’ve said everything I wanted to say on the topic much better than I could have! I too was all conflicted about Kymmy’s right to bare arse, but your closing line says it all. Her status as a mother is the least of my concerns about why she wishes to break the internet with her lady bits. Presumably her kids will be able to afford a good therapist when the time comes anyway.

  18. YES to this! What a fantastic post. Just the right balance between funny and angry!
    Well, this ‘mummy blogger’ (bleurgh) just posted her first review… and it is for a vibrator! Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Neya Rivera!
    Hurrah for Hugzilla!

  19. Cant stand women who use their bodies to get attention. I agree that being a mother should not come into the argument of what KK did. Last time I checked being a mother does not mean that you stop being an individual person!! That Tom Ford ad is gross! Never seen it before but OMG!

  20. I’m with you – put it away Kim! Thanks by thief way, I had managed to avoid the actual images until now haha. However, that twitter comment was awful. No one would ever say it to a man. Why are some women so horrible to each other?

  21. Hahah same wavelength I just finished up a Kim K post myself, mine is a little different and involves a piece of fruit. I just want know though, why do breastfeeding Mums pictures get banned on FB, yet she is just plastered all over it?…. I don’t like the double standard that seems to exist between celebrities and regular people… great post and that Rivera comment pissed me off too….

  22. Yeah I missed all of it, because life is too short to care what she is doing.
    I think it’s not just about being a mother, but being a human being that gives responsibility. Did doing that empower anyone or make their lives better? Maybe, but most likely not. So is it really necessary Kim?

  23. Well said! She needs to put that arse away. And oh my goodness, I hate it when people say what mothers should or should not be doing. I hated when people would say that your life is over when you get pregnant and become a mother. Oh, now I am fuming!

  24. Maybe what she should have said was “Are you happy with your child seeing these photos one day?” I am not on a KIM bandwagon no matter what, but as a mum trying to regain an ounce of her old sexy self I have to tell the other chick to just shut it. NON-mum doesn’t get THAT vote

  25. I bet she’s regretting that instagram comment now. I wonder how much backlash she’s received?? I really can’t stop looking at that butt to be honest. It’s got to be photoshopped surely. It’s just so strange looking! Visiting via #teamIBOT

  26. She was a trashy fame whore long before she became a mum so why should/would that stop her lol.I would actually be more shocked seeing photos of her looking after her daughter, I hardly ever see that! We’re all already accustomed to her tits and ass aren’t we? I don’t see why everyone is so shocked shes done it in the first place.

    Meanwhile the Tom Ford campaign :O

  27. I am not a fan of Kim and I don’t get this whole photo shoot at all but I don’t believe she shouldn’t have done it because she is a mother now. The list of dos and don’ts that come along with motherhood, particularly those touted by non-parents, is ridiculous. Thank you for this post.

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