How to Make Girls BEG To Sleep With You by Being A DECENT Human Being

** A BIT OF CONTEXT: This post is inspired by some of the websites I’ve come across in light of the recent drama around dating coach Julien Blanc. A lot of these dating coaches promote somewhat dubious methods of seducing women, so I thought I’d advocate for a different approach. AND I want to be able to charge people $3000 for a seminar because frankly, blogging is a mug’s game.  Just a warning on language, too. It gets a bit gnarly**

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In my unique series of Player seminars I will teach you how to execute a girlfriend or fuck-buddy sequence in a way that doesn’t demean or degrade a woman for the sole purpose of your own immediate gratification, so you can get your rocks off without reducing a woman to the sum-total of her sexual organs.

DON’T BELIEVE IT CAN BE DONE?

In my seminar you will learn the Seven Pillars of Sex-Deservedness, the ultimate secrets to playing and WINNING the GAME. You will LEARN how to EARN the right to be intimate with someone.

I know what you’re thinking. Hey, who is this Hugzilla?

She talks a lot of GAME, but what the fuck does she know about this shit?

I know a lot about vaginas. I have one. I also know a lot about the women who carry these vaginas around. The GATEKEEPERS of VAGINA. To get to the vagina, you NEED to get through the gatekeeper first, and they are all about the GAME.

You want to tap that vag? Of course you do.

This is the kind of A-game you need to bring because you’re playing in the big leagues now, with mature adults who have consideration for their respective physical and emotional boundaries and who treat each other with mutual respect.

The Seven Pillars of Sex-Deservedness

  1. Be KIND and SINCERE – Treat her with respect, use good manners and basically don’t be a dick.
  1. Seduce her with MENTAL FOREPLAY – Intelligent and intellectually curious men with interesting things to say are hot. Bone up on non-boner-related topics.
  1. TALK to her and really LISTEN – Give it a try. Women often have interesting things to say too.
  1. Be HONEST and UNPRETENTIOUS – Don’t be a wanker or a bullshit artist.
  1. Make her FEEL GOOD about herself in a way that is GENUINE  A woman who feels good about herself is a woman that feels sexy.
  1. Treat her like a HUMAN BEING instead of an ORIFICE TO FUCK  Always remember that vaginas are attached to living, breathing persons.
  1. Have a sense of HUMOUR – Funny guys get loads of pussy. Men who are sassy and make girls laugh are sexy.

And BEWARE! If you don’t want women to shut their “Sex Caves” on you – effectively cutting your primal maleness off from that roaring hot source of sexual pleasure – you’ll want to avoid doing these things.

The Four Flag-Poles of Fucked-Up Douchebaggery

  1. Don’t be an EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATIVE jerk – Don’t fake emotions to milk sympathy, or to appear more vulnerable. Don’t zero in on her insecurities and exploit them for your own gratification.
  1. Don’t be a conceited WANKER – Don’t brag about your salary or your cock size or the speedboat you have docked at the Mosman Bay marina.
  1. Don’t GROPE her or STARE at her boobs – Look into her eyes instead of her cleavage, and don’t grab at her sexual organs in public on the first date.
  1. Don’t interact for the SOLE PURPOSE of HAVING SEX with her – She is a woman, not a flesh-covered sex-toy with a built-in emotion chip that needs rewiring.

So, what are you waiting for?

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50 thoughts on “How to Make Girls BEG To Sleep With You by Being A DECENT Human Being

  1. Haha I think every guy should read this-and yes like Pinky says, women can be just as manipulative but your post is so funny (and true)

  2. Spot on as always Zilla. You said it all at the start – just don’t be a dick. How hard can it be for the ones that are douchebags out there to understand? They are the ones ruining it all for the good guys. I’m long out of the game but surely there are still some good guys out there? I don’t think Handy Hubby is planning on letting Miss TT date anyway. I’ve heard him murmur something about a rocking chair for the front yard and a shotgun.

  3. Love it. So glad that scum bag is outta the country. I def think he needs to buy a ticket to your seminar, although he may need a preliminary: don’t be a douche 101 class.

    • SNAP!! Either we are thinking with the same brain or I subconsciously stole this when replying to another comment just now. It’s 8am, so I’m pretty sure I stole it. My brain doesn’t think that well in the morning.

  4. Hang on there, slow down sister. You mean to say that girls will do, well, you know what just if boys are nice to them? This just might catch on. I’ll pop a link to my fackbook page and see what my knuckle dragging readers think.

    Very clever, funny and needed to be said. Well done!!

  5. Did anyone else click the BUY NOW button just to see where it would take you? The answer is nowhere 😦 HA! This is so good. I just finished read Hand Bag Mafia’s open letter to a douche bag, and I had tears in my eyes and fear in my heart for women everywhere. This was a nice light note to finish that on. BUT seriously. HOW good is a good guy?

    • LOL! I was tempted to link to the White Ribbon Project 🙂 This piece started out life as an angry opinion piece and I needed to turn it upside down because it was depressing me. There ARE good men out there. And there ARE women who will have sex with them. LOL.

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