Bugaboo Diesel: The New Pram For the Urban Mummy Militia

Attention Australian mums: It’s a war-zone out there.

There is a new armoured-infant-vehicle hitting the mean streets of middle-class privilege, and it’s coming to a suburb near you.

It’s called the Bugaboo Diesel, and it is the new artillery vehicle of choice for urban mummy insurgents, as they wage war on modern parenthood and each other.

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In one of the surest signs that the “Mummy Wars” are heating up, suburban mothers are rushing to purchase the new military-inspired Bugaboo, with its khaki colour palette, urban camouflage print and Swiss Army-inspired styling.

The camouflage print enables new recruits to navigate the rough terrain of early motherhood with stealth, minimising the risk of sniper judgement-attack. The matching parasol offers extra protection, in case infantry comes under siege from hostile civilians or hardline rebels with improvised explosive advice (IEA).

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The Diesel Cameleon has a concealed undercarriage and several handy pouches at the rear of the chassis, where troops can safely and conveniently stash handguns, spare rounds and spare dummies so they remain in easy reach for emergencies.

The extended sun canopy features a special mesh fabric that will protect all infantry from mosquitos, flying insects, and flying shrapnel. (Correction: manufacturer specifications do not stipulate protection from flying shrapnel)

It also comes with a teflon-lined bullet-proof footmuff, to protect tiny toes from live ammunition. (Correction: manufacturer specifications do not stipulate that item is made from teflon or is bullet-proof)

With a $1300 price tag the Bugaboo does not come cheap, but – sadly – the cost of war is always devastatingly high.

The New Bugaboo Diesel: Military Chic for Middle Class Mums.

Because raising a baby in the middle of a war-zone is now an ironic symbol of hipster cool.

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT.

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34 thoughts on “Bugaboo Diesel: The New Pram For the Urban Mummy Militia

  1. “but – sadly – the cost of war is always devastatingly high.” HA!
    I think this is my favourite pram review of all time. I don’t think I’d want to buy such a GI Jane pram because I’m not usually hiding in bush lands and forest with my baby, needing to remain unseen by the the enemy mother’s groups!

  2. Bahaha ok seriously I think this is a bit over the top, although it might stop a lot of the unwanted touching from strangers, but would probably attract a few extra stares instead. I have a Bugaboo but I’m not a fan of this one, but I do love your descriptive review 🙂

  3. Have you ever been in a aisle of a shop when one of these babies are bearing down on you? Talk about an assault vehicle. Now I won’t be able to see them when they jump out at me in while I busy power walking through the park. Just kidding the only power thing I do is powering through a bottle of vodka 😉

    • LOL yes, you know me… I love a massive tank-sized pram. My old one actually makes this one look like a Mini Cooper. I have no idea what I was thinking. If I wasn’t pregnant at the time, I would have suspected the involvement of vodka. That’s my kind of workout.

    • It’s funny you say that because I deadset thought it was satire when I came across it. Surely “military chic-meets-baby pram” CAN NOT BE A REAL THING?!? Needless to say, it was a real thing. I’m sure that mothers living in war zones all across the globe think that military chic is a way cool thing. Urgh. So wrong!

  4. $1300 Oh em gee! Who would buy this?! Surely only celebrities. Is it the real deal or a fake? Anyway, I loved this post. You are so funny and clever! Visiting via #teamIBOT

  5. Hilarious. I’m not a fan of bugaboo no matter what pattern fabric. Overpriced and impracticable for the label happy crew. (PS my sister has one but I prefer to use my old Maclaren when I look after my niece.)

    • My favourite pram was actually my McLaren Daytripper. It was the most lightweight umbrella stroller I could find. It fit everywhere, I would fold it down and carry it with one arm, I could throw it in the boot. I went through so many before we got there! I learnt my lesson and started buying second hand prams instead.

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