Attention Australian mums: It’s a war-zone out there.
There is a new armoured-infant-vehicle hitting the mean streets of middle-class privilege, and it’s coming to a suburb near you.
It’s called the Bugaboo Diesel, and it is the new artillery vehicle of choice for urban mummy insurgents, as they wage war on modern parenthood and each other.
In one of the surest signs that the “Mummy Wars” are heating up, suburban mothers are rushing to purchase the new military-inspired Bugaboo, with its khaki colour palette, urban camouflage print and Swiss Army-inspired styling.
The camouflage print enables new recruits to navigate the rough terrain of early motherhood with stealth, minimising the risk of sniper judgement-attack. The matching parasol offers extra protection, in case infantry comes under siege from hostile civilians or hardline rebels with improvised explosive advice (IEA).
The Diesel Cameleon has a concealed undercarriage and several handy pouches at the rear of the chassis, where troops can safely and conveniently stash handguns, spare rounds and spare dummies so they remain in easy reach for emergencies.
The extended sun canopy features a special mesh fabric that will protect all infantry from mosquitos, flying insects, and flying shrapnel. (Correction: manufacturer specifications do not stipulate protection from flying shrapnel)
It also comes with a teflon-lined bullet-proof footmuff, to protect tiny toes from live ammunition. (Correction: manufacturer specifications do not stipulate that item is made from teflon or is bullet-proof)
With a $1300 price tag the Bugaboo does not come cheap, but – sadly – the cost of war is always devastatingly high.
The New Bugaboo Diesel: Military Chic for Middle Class Mums.
Because raising a baby in the middle of a war-zone is now an ironic symbol of hipster cool.
Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT.