I’m seeing it in my Facebook newsfeed a lot lately. They make me cringe. They make me want to trade my vagina in for a set of testes. You know them, those heartfelt, sickly, saccharine-sweet manifestos about motherhood and how, despite the whole world judging you for every tiny muscle twitch you make, “you are still doing a great job Mom!”.
They say stuff like this:
“To the cloth nappy mum: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You’re a good mum.
To the disposable nappy mum: Damn those things hold a lot, and it’s excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You’re a good mum.”
Urgh. Why the need for all the reassurance? Why is motherhood the only occupation in the world where we are so insecure and needy that we require people to give us the metaphorical “thumbs up” or regular pats on the back all the time? And since when did our choice of shit collectors become part of the increasingly complex algorithm of being a “good mum”?
Here’s a pro tip: if you are wringing your hands over the question of whether you are a “good mum” or not you probably are, because I would hazard a guess that people who aren’t “good mums” don’t spend a lot of time in agonised self-reflection wondering if they are being a “good mum”, or spend their time trying to think of ways to be a better one.
“Sometimes we all need to hear this, and stop Judging each other. Please share this with all the mummies you know, they may need to hear these words!”
Someone much smarter than me once uttered words to the effect that “The world does not care about your self-esteem.”
You judge. He judges. She judges. Everyone judges.
It is going to continue happening despite all the best intentions of all of the patronising “copy & paste” Facebook statuses in the world. In fact, I am judging the author of that meme right now for her improper use of the capital “J” on the word “Judging”. It is earnest, but clumsy and misplaced, which kind of symbolises her entire tract for me.
The Hugzilla version is much shorter:
Mothers need to grow a thicker skin, stop giving a shit what everyone else thinks of them and just get on with it.
And stop it with the inspirational memes already. They give me acid reflux.